What Fairy Tales Can Teach Us About Anxiety, Shame, and Getting Unstuck
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a rough patch and thought, "This feels like a bad story I can’t get out of"? Maybe the villains are familiar: anxiety, shame, the voice in your head that says you’re not good enough. Maybe you feel like you’re wandering in circles, waiting for the plot to change.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And oddly enough, fairy tales might offer more than just comfort. They may actually help us heal.
No, I’m not suggesting that we solve real-world pain with fairy dust or magic wands. But in therapy, I often find that the most powerful tools are metaphors that help us understand our inner lives. Fairy tales are filled with transformation, courage, and inner growth—and those are the very ingredients we need when we feel stuck, anxious, or ashamed.
Rewriting the Narrative
When we’re overwhelmed by anxiety or frozen in shame, it’s easy to believe we’ve reached the end of our story. Clients will say, "It’s ruined. I blew it. I’m too broken." But every fairy tale begins in hardship: the lost child, the cursed kingdom, the impossible task. That’s not the end—that’s the beginning of the transformation.
Therapy can work a lot like a narrative rewrite. We start where you are, even if it feels like you’re stuck in the darkest part of the forest. We identify the "monsters" (your anxiety, your perfectionism, your inner critic), and together we uncover your hidden strengths—often the parts you’ve forgotten or dismissed.
The Inner Critic as a Character
One helpful technique I use with clients is imagining the inner critic not as a truth-teller, but as a character in your story. Maybe it’s a snarky goblin, a strict judge, or a weary old wizard who thinks they’re keeping you safe. Once we give the critic a name, a face, and a tone, we can challenge its authority. You wouldn’t take advice from a villain in someone else’s story—so why listen to one in your own?
And here's the good news: your story doesn’t end with the critic. In many sessions, we create "helper characters" too. These might be imagined versions of your future self, your wise inner voice, or even just the grounded part of you that knows how to breathe and get through hard things. (Spoiler: that part of you exists. You just may not have met it yet.)
A Map Through the Fog
Clients often ask, "But how does this actually help my anxiety?" I get it. If you’re struggling to get through the day, metaphor can sound like a luxury. But here’s what I’ve seen: when we use story to frame our experiences, we create distance from distress. We gain clarity. We can say, "I’m in the part of the story where the hero is tested" instead of "I’m failing again."
The shift is subtle but powerful. It creates room for choice, for curiosity, for compassion. And with those in place, we can begin to change our habits, our relationships, and our sense of self.
A Quick Word About ART
For some clients, especially those who feel stuck in trauma, looping thoughts, or intense emotion, I use an approach called Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART). Without getting too technical, ART uses eye movements and visual imagery to help you "rewrite" distressing scenes in your mind. It sounds simple—and it is—but the results are often profound.
And yes, it connects beautifully with the fairy tale idea. In ART, we often ask: If you could change the story—even just in your imagination—what would you want it to look like? For clients carrying shame, regret, or anxiety, this is often the first step toward real healing. It’s not fantasy—it’s your nervous system letting go of an old loop.
You Are the Hero
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this post, it’s this: you are not broken. You are in the middle of your story. And every story has dark chapters. But those chapters don’t define you. They shape you, yes. They test you. But they are not the end.
Whether we work with metaphor, movement, or memory, the goal is the same: to help you return to yourself. Stronger. Softer. Wiser.
So the next time your inner critic pipes up, try this: Picture yourself in a fairy tale. What kind of hero are you? What have you already survived? And what might happen next, now that you’re not going it alone?
That’s where the magic begins.
